Lauren

im running away...with a plane ticket.
not really, im a slave to a degree.
japan-london-paris this january....anywhere is great as long as its plane distance away.



my warehouse has plastic circle curtains.

art school can eat my foot.

Sometimes i want to marry the wind,
and other times i want to go down with the ship.
right now id like to jump into the rip.
and thats all there is about that.

have a polaroid, this is from Osaka.

im about to go on a family trip to an onsen resort, glorious, naked with the extended family -_-
its alright though, the beer and sake will be free flowing...i hope to god...
heres some piccywics. because i have time to upload them.

this is me being attacked by a deer

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I got back this morning from a trip to Kyoto and osaka at 6.26 and i wanted to die.
i still havent showered...i should probably go do that but im too content sitting on the floor.

Kyoto was very different from Tokyo, it wasnt bombed so all the old structures are still there, its as quiet as an amish town on sunday. practically silent. went to so many temples, stayed in this great traditional hotel that had a public bath, so i braved the nakedness and went. ended up being great, then spent the rest of the night listening to metal while wearing yukata and drinking asahi and guinness.
went to osaka by train, stopped in Nara to see a HUGE buddah, it was massive. im guessing it gave me a similar reaction the pyramids would. Osaka was very strange. New buildings but it was all rundown, gangs and tons of rude old men. There was this street we walked down that was lined with the slums of Osaka, my brothers friend (who is from osaka) was so apologetic, as if it was a part of japan they want no one to discover. Its hard to understand how different it is in comparison to the rest of japan unless you see it.

Tokyo remains　my ultimate place. i would love to live in shinjuku for a bit, or shibuya, its all pretty rad.
i like being away, especially here, but im ready to come back. now that ive been here once i feel like next time it'll be easier and better because i can prepare more. and come here with empty bags to fill ^_^

and ill bring a friend who wont purposefully speak japanese so i cant understand the conversation *all eyes point to my brother*
sitting in the middle of a conversation without understanding is frustrating and its getting a bit lonely. goddamnit i cant believe how little i am speaking...and how slow i am speaking. lost in translation is a good phrase.

drinking drinking drinking sake, the amount of times i have chorus chimed "KAMPAI!" is ridiculous.
im in Tokyo right now, i had been staying at khaoshan tokyo youth hostel for the past week and now im at my cousin Hitomis house. here i call my uncle and aunt; ottosan and okaasan (dad and mom)
today okaasan dressed me in yukata, a summer kimono, twas rockin. Now im waiting to leave for kyoto on the bus. ill get there at 6am tomorrow, ouch. but hitomi has lost the tickets, ha perfect.
but its worth it, kyoto is old school japan.

Japan is a huge juxtaposition, contemporary yet traditional, reserved yet loud.
Sex sells in western society, but underage sex sells here. Japan sells fantasy, unreal circumstances and fictional characters.

Everyone commutes and then consumes.

Its strange but ive found that underneath the contemporary japan of 50 foot flashing signs and neon colours there is a commuter melancholy. It's bizaare, and tokyo tosses my emotions about.
I feel so excited but lonely i guess, because ill sit with my family but i cant say a word, my brother will get drunk and leave me behind without translation (he can speak jap, i cant) family goes beyond words of course, but its so frustruating, and eventually everyone, including myself gives up.
here i am the quiet one.

i started a new journal, paper journal, as morrissey whines "i started something i couldnt finish" my previous journal failed and died so i taxed a new one. hopefully this one will keep me writing, i have good vibes about this one...it has nice paper.

this time next week ill be in Japan, i leave on monday! booyeah!

I fly to Tokyo and I'm staying in a youth hostel for a week then i go Kyoto-Osaka-Kyoto-Tokyo. My cousin Hitomi is trekking with me and my brother. Hopefully i can take the Shinkansen to Nagasaki, but i dont know if i have the money. I'm backpacking and i just got all this thermal wear cos ill be in the snow. I tried on those puffy quilted jackets last week and i looked like a balloon animal. It's going to be unbelievable. I really hope it motivates me for this year, so i can aspire for...something.

Right now I'm not overly looking forward to it, it's come around so fast and i don't feel prepared enough to go. The amount that im going to miss my boy hit me today, it was a bad realization. But I need to jump off a cliff frequently so i can look back and see how far i fell. challenge is great, im such a lazy fucker, i need to stop talking about wanting to do things and actually do them. I must stop writing lists because it immediatly places important things in waiting lines.

well im back from an extreme hiatus. i missed the pleasant glow of the monitor.
ah bliss.
anywho. i went on a roadtrip and beach bum 8 day binge drinking holiday. and it made me miss things. and it was intense. and it hurt my liver. and it got me very hungover. though i got really excited at hungry jacks because THEY HAVE VEGO BURGERS. booyeah. and onion rings. so i wore a crown and i look like i'm 7.



for the past 8 days my breakfast has been vodka shots and mi goreng. dinner has been tequila shots and mi goreng. and for lunch i have tried the veg subway with every single sauce. it was thrilling. oh so thrilling. but really it had fabulous moments of sincere contentment. it was fun, to be plain boring and simple in explaination. fun fun peachy keen fun. but im glad that it's done.

my SCA interview was put on the day after i go away, so i may have to do it the same day as nida. blergh, very much want to avoid that. i hate having to rearrange auditions. my friend has a brain tumour, just found out.
in other news, im going to jump from electric bass to upright.
speaking of that, i saw zombie ghost train at the annandale, that was fabulous. im also thinking of auditioning for a play that my friend is directing through maq uni next year 'marat/sade'. but i have to figure that out on wednesday. tomorrow i must do rego crap and then passport stuff. first time i get a break and i have to go sit in offices all day. excellent.

well not a new lj per-say...i realized how much i upload photos on here. so i thought why not open a second account for my art. yeah. that sounds like a great idea. so i did it.
But dont delete me here, im staying, i just have a double account now ^_^

tick
tick
tick
tick
BOOM:

http://melorra-jet.livejournal.com/

you know when someone asks you "whats been happening?" and you reply "nothing" even though copious amounts of events have past? im in that habit. though it is very rare that anyone asks how you are and is actually waiting for an answer more detailed then a good or a grunt. honestly. quite a bit has happened. for me saying nothing means i dont have to report everything in turn boring the person and myself. great events are great because they are fleeting. so lets keep it that way.



but no one asked how i was so typing this out is for my own benefit.
so i had a graduation. had an accident. had a bitch about my brother to his friend...who bitched straight back. did some wanky art. failed a mock driving test. fuck. gallavanted about wasting time. downright not studying, i cant be bothered pretending it wastes time that could be spent sleeping. or eating. or watching SG1. or making new sg1 ringtones. OH! i've been watching (and am now obsessed) with the new remake series of Battlestar Galactica, jeebus chwist it's rad. UBER RAD. yes it deserves the prefix of uber. i bought a russian communist military hat too.
NMBC in 3d huh?! i can dig that.

i have a headache, i ate too much pecan pie. etcetc. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeping piiiiiiiiill. little dazed and confused. its the sleeping pill*falls asleep on keyboard*edkwfwkfewj jfewpop9480392urj...............................................................

BOOM SHAKALAKA BOOM.
shake shake the room...tick tick tick tick BOOM

I just got back from Placebo.
Let me say this:

I am speechless

I am bruise pristine & black eyed (literally)

And I am one,
I am.
I am one,
I am, I am, I am, I am, I am.


(from my camera phone, right on the barrier bebe! We were the first to line up...at 7.30am)

Earthdance was fabulous. got there at 10am, just missed the prayer for peace but danced crazy for awhile. i lost my friend Lani's badge that was holding my shirt onto my bra, i smoked a j and then ran down a hill and lost it, it could have been right at my feet and i would have never found it. i really do feel quite bad. i hate losing things that arent mine. god im ridiculous, it was probably right in front of me on the grass! Anyway tranced all day, bought some mull to smoke, then drank the cherry beer that bought from home. Finished the night dancing the krishna meal off then walked back to the car and we did the compulsory wasted annandale macD meal! Glorious day, a beautiful day. and i just found some pics on the site! my friend angelique to the left and thats me prancing oblivious in green.



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Candy-core couple cuddling.



My own photos enable nostalgia.
even worse though is nostalgia for situations never experienced, I had a HUGE nostalgia wave while watching woodstock yesterday. Cocker started to play 'little help' and i teared up. It was ridiculous. but actually understandable in my mind.

"Well, I heard him coming upstairs, it gave me quite a thrill, it was so reassuring:
what is there to fear from such a regular world? I think I am cured."
- Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre

Anthony Burgess wasn't the first to utter being cured. Some attatch it to moloko, I attatch it to my existential crisis.

decrease your pace now
declare your peace with time now
time to pass out now

i am done. done with haiku, with sonnets, with rhyming schemes. with anthologies! DONE.

Saw an old friend, i used to talk to him alot at the cafe where he works, i'd get my caffiene break from tree there.. He's always upbeat in a deep-voiced-non-plussed way.
Asked me where i had been hiding, away from here consumerism doesnt suit my income...i said study and he asked studying what. and then i woke from a sleep 13 years long. studying.
studying "general knowledge" so one day i can win Trivial Pursuit without cheating.

i used to see this other guy at the cafe too. he would be there every thursday night sitting with three other guys on the very end table of the cafe near my work. (one of them had really long hair) but this guy im talking about was very tall, his name started with d...god i cant remember. and he always wore hats. i mean ALWAYS. i have never seen him without a hat on his head. also wore woody allen specs. i ran into him at peats ridge festival, i was skat but i remember his car was parked two tent roads across from mine. he was wearing a hat.

Its nice to have something constant, and im sad that i dont see him every thursday at his table, in his hat.

www.peatsridgefestival.com.au

its been announced. my home is in sight. oh my. the festival is now over new years, 4 days 3 nights of that wonderful homely feeling.

ive been snowed in by exams and study. so my room is nearing its peak of everything that should be in a drawer or on a shelf is now on the floor. i cant open my door.




(hfiewohftgsejt9043utijasdkjgkljeswtu0943ut;lesjge309quroqjelwqdklwehfoiweuptj;j;)
understand? my brain just imploded.

and all together it went well.

in my trial weeks. study-pretend to study-downright not study.
im cramming. its this repetitive cycle or cram.exam.cram.exam.
driving me to less then sane.
though the plus of an exam week is having the rest of the day free, so today i went and drank coffee in a garden centre. not what i really wanted to do, i dont know why i went. i dropped my nougat on the floor so i had to go get another one.

bad days.
boyfriend break up.
failing a subject.
fighting with my brother.
dropping my green lighter down a drain.
finishing my last white-filter marlboro light.
forgetting an assessment.
all in a space of two days.

its good like that. and im missing out on my friends 27th tonight. its not going well. but soon it will be all over and i can breath a little easier and take down his polaroid. (i think ill send it to him). Tamlin is coming over tonight with some drinks and her lucky strikes and we are going to have fun and chain for a few hours before a really late dinner. I have to take her photo tomorrow, and study some. study all.

these things happen for a reason. but what a shame and an annoyance when they happen at the wrong time.



happy snap

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why do they think the unemployment is up? mayhap the elitist selection of tertiary applicable students?! how about the insanely high uai cut off points for universities all over the state. hey sydney, maybe extend your student basis and let young adults get the education and knowledge they need to run the country well...for once. then maybe that little problem of unemployed adults and teens will dwindle.
Hopefully you board members will be replaced by competant and wise successors, who will kick you idiots right out off your high horses. Successors that werent chosen from that little cream top of golden children, cultivated and presented with poise.

Learned council and chairmembers stop being assholes by hitching up the uai's.ive had it. had it completely.

existential crisis on the 8am bus from annandale to broadway.
cheese stick bag.